I want to thank Jason, and everyone at the Monastery again for welcoming me with such openness. I’m still amazed that I was granted this possibility to see shining samples of the teachings of A Course in Miracles, and for the very first time in a lengthy while, I don’t feel alone.
Element of me wanted to stay longer, but beneath that desire was the thought that I would be doing this for the incorrect reason; as a way in order to avoid my problems. The stronger feeling was, and is, that my travels will continue.
Before I left, Jason asked if I’d had any insights. What I’m about to talk about was not yet clear in those days; only on the drive away did it coalesce.
That morning, several lines from a Vance Joy song kept running through my head, “I never must have told you, never must have enable you to see inside. acim teacher Don’t want it troubling your brain, won’t you let it be?” This confused me as I could not consider whatever I’d said that I felt regret for.
Eventually, the phrase, “don’t want it troubling your mind” stood out. This reminded me that the absolute most prominent fear I’d in visiting the Monastery was that I’d somehow interfere with its residents’satisfaction, by simply my presence alone. This belief that I could negatively affect other people’s state of mind has been with me for quite some time, and has colored a lot of my past experiences and relationships.
This fear left my awareness immediately after I arrived. On the drive away it rose again, but I remembered David saying in one of his videos that minds cannot attack. I cried and laughed, and now feel like the belief is being (has been?) released.
You can find other items that happened that felt important, but I can’t consider them right now.